Divorce is a life-altering event which often brings about new routines and significant changes. Even the most civil breakups can be emotionally challenging, leaving you feeling drained and uncertain.
Adjusting can be difficult initially, even for those who view their circumstances positively. The key is to recognise your feelings, not suppress them, as this will have a negative impact on your wellbeing, and find a way to manage them to build a positive future.
Here are our five top tips to help you.
- Give yourself time
Be patient with yourself. You have been through a lot, so you may get emotional at times. Don’t compare yourself to others; everyone heals differently, and your journey is individual.
You may need to reflect a bit longer on your relationship to get nearer to closure. You must treat yourself kindly until you can accept what has happened and feel ready to move on.
- Lean on your support network
Surround yourself with understanding friends and family who are there for you when you do not feel OK, as well as when you do.
If you would benefit from speaking to people in a similar situation, there may also be support groups in your area. Seek professional help if you feel overwhelmingly anxious or depressed, as a therapist or counsellor can support you in finding mechanisms to help you deal with your emotions.
- Do something for you
Try to plan some self-care to help you feel better physically and emotionally. This could include gentle exercise to help you relax, such as yoga or Pilates.
You could take up a new hobby to meet new friends and feel less isolated, rediscover an old hobby, volunteer for a good cause or promise yourself you’ll eat more healthily or get more sleep.
Work self-care into your new routine so, for example, if you and your ex-wife or husband always went out on a Friday night, you can set that time aside for a positive activity just for you.
- Protect your boundaries
Protect your emotional wellbeing by setting clear boundaries with your former spouse. This may include a co-parenting plan in which you share the responsibility of raising children and enjoying fun times with them. Try to communicate calmly but clearly to prevent arguments or misunderstandings.
- Focus on the future as much as you can
You can’t change the past, so consider your divorce as a stepping stone to a new future. Set new goals if that will help you, but don’t put yourself under any pressure if that feels daunting at this time.
Although divorce is common, nobody enters a marriage expecting their relationship to break down. You may feel angry and resentful, regretful or guilty, lonely and in a sense of grief, betrayed, lost, or sad. These feelings are normal but, if you follow our tips, you can focus on finding a way to move forward with a positive outlook.
Useful contacts
Gingerbread – a charity supporting single parents and their children thrive
Divorce Club – hosted by people who are going through or have been through divorce. Their website includes blogs, a podcast and more
Samaritans – the Samaritans provides emotional support
Relate – Relate is a charity providing counselling and family counselling. They have a wealth of resources on their website relating to moving on after divorce, dealing with separation and more.
Contact AGR Law
Our experienced team understands the legal and emotional aspects of divorce, and we will represent and support you to achieve the best possible outcome. Call us on or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk for more information.