We’ve talked previously about the need to have a legally recognised and up-to-date Will, and the consequences of dying intestate, but we know drawing up a Will is daunting and easy to put off.

In this blog, we outline the top five essential things to put in your Will. Each point also includes tips to help you prepare for a Will-writing appointment. Next month, we’ll tell you all about executors and their roles, so look out for that.

Our top five things to include in your Will are:

  • Who do you want to benefit from your assets and property?
  • Do you have any debts?
  • Who will look after your children or pets?
  • Do you have any requests for your funeral?
  • Would you like any charities and good causes to benefit?

Who do you want to benefit from your assets and property?

In your Will, you need to state who you want to receive your assets and property when you die. Assets can include money in accounts, savings, pensions, shares, insurance policies, etc. Property can be valuable items such as houses and cars, or sentimental items such as wedding rings or things which have been passed down through the family.

It’s important to go into detail and ensure everything is covered, and that your Will is updated as your circumstances change. Even the closest families can argue over who gets what, so you need to put everything in writing to minimise disputes.

To prepare for your Will-writing appointment, you need to gather some documents. These include property deeds, insurance policies, share certificates, bank account details and other information relating to your assets. Also, list specific items that you want people to inherit. Remember, promising someone verbally they can have an item isn’t a legally recognised way of distributing your estate, so others may contest your wishes if they’re not specified in your Will.

Do you have any debts?

Debts, including mortgages and car finance, are paid off using money in your estate when you die. In the UK, debts aren’t passed onto surviving family members unless they’ve acted as a guarantor or co-signatory of the debt. If your estate can’t cover the outstanding money owed, debts will be paid in priority order and any remaining will be written off. If your estate is more than the total amount of money you owe, it will be distributed as per the instructions in your Will.

To prepare for your Will-writing appointment, gather documents relating to the above, list how much is owed and to whom, and how and when you are paying them off.

Who will look after your children or pets?

You need to specify who will have parental responsibility for children under 18 (who are classed as minors) in case there is ever a scenario where there are no surviving parents. Your named person or people, known as testamentary guardians, will have the same rights and responsibilities as a parent.

To prepare for your Will-writing appointment, think carefully about who you would like to be responsible for your child or children’s upbringing. You can prepare a Letter of Wishes which is not legally binding but can be placed with your Will to help guide your testamentary guardians. You can include your hopes for living arrangements, education and more.

You should also include pets in your Will in a similar way as above to help ensure they find a loving home and are looked after when you die. You can name someone to rehome them and allocate money for their care from your estate.

Do you have any requests for your funeral?

We know how hard it is to think about your funeral but, if you have specific wishes, it’s essential to include them in your Will. For example, you can state whether you want to be buried or cremated, have a ceremony or wake in a particular place, include some of your favourite music or ask everyone to dress in bright colours. Some people opt not to have a funeral at all.

To prepare for your Will-writing appointment, consider what you would like your funeral to be like. You may need to research costs (keeping in mind that they are likely to rise) and consider how they will be met.

Would you like any charities and good causes to benefit?

There are so many UK charities in need of financial support, and leaving a gift in your Will is an excellent way of giving to a cause you care about. Leaving a legacy gift may also have tax benefits, as inheritance tax is calculated after gifts have been deducted from your estate.

To prepare for your Will-writing appointment, think about the good causes you’d like to benefit. It could be a charity that has helped you or a family member, such as a hospice or care provider, or one who fights for a cause you care about, such as animal welfare or the eradication of domestic abuse.

Look out for our next blog

Another crucial element of your Will is who you appoint as executors. Look out for next month’s blog covering their role and responsibilities.

How can AGR Law help?

A Will is a legally binding document. Any errors can invalidate it, meaning you die intestate, and your estate may not be divided up as per your wishes. Any omissions can make resolving disputes longer, more complicated, and more expensive.

Having your Will drawn up by us will mean:

  • We won’t miss any elements that make a Will legally binding
  • We won’t miss off any of your money or property assets
  • We will help you plan for scenarios where one or both partners die
  • We can keep on top of alterations, such as marriages, divorces/dissolutions, deaths, house moves etc.
  • Your Will will be drawn up to consider the circumstances in which dependants can claim if they feel they’re not provided for

For more information, please get in touch with our experienced team by calling 0116 340 0094 or emailing hello@agrlaw.co.uk.

It’s estimated that one in four women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. It is a largely hidden crime, taking many forms as described below:

  • Coercive control – intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the threat of physical or sexual violence
  • Emotional abuse – this can include threatening, humiliating, insulting, isolating and intimidating
  • Physical abuse – when someone makes (or threatens to make) unwanted contact with another person’s body by punching, slapping, biting strangling and more
  • Sexual abuse – when a person is forced to do something sexually that they don’t want to do. This also includes denying access to birth control
  • Financial abuse (also known as economic abuse) – controlling someone’s possessions or how they access or earn money
  • Harassment and stalking – persistent, unwanted behaviour
  • Online or digital abuse – demanding access to emails, messages, social media etc., sharing intimate photos online without permission or tracking your location using GPS or similar

Do you need to change your living arrangements due to domestic abuse?

If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, support is available to help you make an escape plan or remove the perpetrator from your home as quickly as possible whilst not compromising your safety.

Remember, if you and/or your family are in immediate danger you must ring 999 and seek help from the police. If you are unable to speak, a ‘silent solution’ is available for mobile phones. You will listen to a message and then be asked to press 55 to be transferred to your local police force where the call handler will ask you simple yes or no questions. You may be asked to cough, tap your keys or similar in response if it is unsafe for you to talk, so listen carefully. Please note, the police are unable to track your location from a mobile phone.

If you are calling from a landline, the silent solution does not apply. If you cannot speak, stay on the phone and you will be connected to a police call handler. If you need to put the phone down, the line will stay open for 45 seconds. If you pick the phone back up again during this time and the operator is concerned for your safety, they will transfer you to a police call handler. Your landline should provide your location information.

If you want to move out

If it is unsafe for you to stay in your home, your local council should prioritise your housing needs. They will not categorise you as ‘intentionally homeless’ if you need to leave urgently, as is sometimes the case where people vacate their home without having anywhere else to go in the hope of forcing their local authority to house them.

You may also be able to find emergency accommodation through them, or via a domestic abuse charity, until somewhere permanent can be found.

If you want your abuser to move out

People often ask why domestic abuse victims don’t leave, but why should they be the ones to go when they are not to blame for their situation and they are likely living in fear, feeling low in confidence and isolated from friends and relations?

If you’re living with a partner who is abusive, you can apply to the court for protection. You don’t have to be married or in a civil partnership for abuse to happen. There are two types of order the court may grant you:

  • A non-molestation order which will protect you and/or your children from being harmed by your ex-partner
  • An occupation order which will enable you to stay in your home, force your ex-partner to leave and prevent them from coming back

You can ask for protection immediately, even if you or your abuser has moved out. Please contact us to find out more.

You can call us in confidence on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk for advice.

Other useful contacts:

  • Refuge (women) – telephone 0808 200 0247 (freephone, open 24/7)
  • Women’s Aid – livechat via website or email helpline@womensaid.org.uk
  • Find a local domestic abuse service here
  • Respect (men) telephone 0808 801 0327 (freephone, 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday)
  • For people living in Leicestershire

 

Deciding who lives where when you separate is one of the trickiest aspects of negotiation. There are many variables but, in the eyes of the law, the outcome usually depends on your relationship status and who is named as owner or tenant of the property. Other considerations include whether you have children under 18 and/or any dependents (such as elderly parents) living with you.

Below we describe some common scenarios and your rights in each situation.

If you jointly own (or are buying) your home

If you jointly own or have a mortgage on your home you will both have a legal right to remain in the property, even if you’re unmarried or not in a civil partnership. This also means that if your partner moves out, they still have a right to return unless a court order prevents them from doing so. There are two types of joint ownership; ‘joint tenancy’ and ‘tenancy in common’ as stated on your title deeds:

  • Joint tenancy is where you both own the whole home together
  • Tenancy in common is where you each own a share of the property, which may be equal or unequal

If your relationship has broken down, you may wish to change your tenancy from ‘joint tenancy’ to ‘tenancy in common’ otherwise your share of the property may go to your ex-partner if you die before you agree on what to do with your home or have had the opportunity to alter your Will. We can give you more information on that and discuss your options.

If you’re both named in the title deeds and your partner wants to sell your home, but you wish to remain, you may be able to buy their share of the property. Conversely, if you want to move out and they wish to stay, they may be able to buy you out. If the remaining partner needs to take a mortgage out, they will have to prove they can afford the repayments alone. Once a mortgage is arranged, a solicitor will transfer ownership on the land registry.

If your ex-partner owns the home and you aren’t on the title deeds or registered as owner

Unmarried partners

Partners living together but not married or in a civil partnership have very few rights, including the automatic ‘home rights’ that others in a legally recognised relationship enjoy.

If your ex-partner owns the home, and you’re not named on the title deeds or registered as an owner, you may be able to apply to the court to allow you to stay. The court may grant you the right to remain if you have a child or children under 18 or you can prove that you have contributed to your home financially and that your ex-partner considers the property to be yours too.

Married couples or civil partners

If you’re not on the title deeds or registered as the property owner, but you’re married or in a civil partnership, you can register with the Land Registry to stop your partner from selling your home or to ensure you’re informed if a mortgage company wants to repossess your home.

If you’re both renting your home

Tenancy agreements can vary greatly but, generally speaking, if you have a joint tenancy agreement you both have a right to stay even if you aren’t married or in a civil partnership. If one of you wants to remain in the rented property, you will need to ask your landlord to transfer the tenancy to the sole occupier. We advise to do this as soon as possible as there is a risk that one partner giving notice on a jointly rented house may end the tenancy for both of you. We also advise getting all communications and agreements with your landlord in writing, and that any changes to the occupation of the property ends one agreement and begins a new one to ensure there can be no confusion over who is responsible for paying rent and bills.

The tenancy is only in your ex-partner’s name and you want to stay in the home

Unmarried partners

Your ex-partner may ask the landlord to transfer the tenancy to you if the relationship is amicable, or you may be able to apply to the court. Permission to stay may be granted if you are the primary carer for children and/or dependents who live with you.

Married couples or civil partners

If you’re married or in a civil partnership, you have the same ‘home rights’ as those who own homes. If you wish to remain in the property and a court determines that is the best solution, they can order that the tenancy is transferred to you as part of a divorce or civil partnership dissolution.

What to do if you can’t agree on what to do with your home

If you and your ex-partner can’t decide who will live where, a mediator can help you by encouraging positive and productive conversations until you reach a conclusion. If you cannot find a solution and your situation calls for the court to get involved, a judge will typically divide the value of your home between you. They will consider the needs of any dependents when deciding who should live where.

Are you experiencing domestic abuse?

If you need to move out or want your partner to leave due to domestic abuse, please look out for next month’s blog, ‘My living arrangements need to change due to domestic abuse. What do I do?’ which will be on our website at the beginning of August.

AGR Law

We can support you with any matters relating to relationship breakdown and housing. Please contact us on 0116 340 0094 or hello@agrlaw.co.uk to arrange a virtual or in-person appointment with a member of our experienced team.

If you read our blog ‘civil partnership and marriage – which is right for you?’ you’ll know that one of the few differences between the two is how they are legally ended. Marriages are ended with a divorce, and a civil partnership is dissolved. You can apply for a legal separation if you’ve been married or in a civil partnership for less than one year.

The law around divorce and dissolution changed in April 2022, when no fault divorce came into effect. We wrote about it HERE but, in brief, the main points are:

  • One of the couple no longer has to accept blame for the relationship breaking down. Previously, couples had to cite a reason for separation, such as adultery, domestic abuse or desertion, or you had to live apart for at least two years. This caused bitterness and resentment between couples whose divorce or dissolution would have otherwise been amicable
  • You can solely apply for a dissolution or divorce, and your spouse can no longer contest it. Joint applications are still accepted, but applying individually means you won’t remain trapped in a relationship you no longer wish to be in

What do you need to consider when applying for a dissolution?

As with all separations, dividing up assets and planning your financial future can be complicated. It may be especially overwhelming if you’re upset and feeling uncertain, or if children or your wider family are affected.

There is a great deal to think about, and getting calculations and valuations correct before an agreement is finalised is vital. Some common considerations are:

  • Pensions – some pensions allow you to move money from your partner’s pension into your own, offset the value of a pension against other assets, or a portion of a pension may be earmarked for a former partner when payments begin
  • Owned/mortgaged property – we can help you work out how much equity is in your home, where any children may live or continue to live, whether one partner can buy the other out or whether it is necessary to sell the jointly-owned home and find two new properties
  • Savings, investments and money in bank accounts – we can help you divide these up, taking into account your earning ability, living expenses, age and other considerations such as disabilities and financial responsibilities
  • Debts such as overdrafts and credit cards – we can help you make a plan to pay off any debts as part of your financial settlement
  • Assets – we can support you in deciding how belongings are divided up, including cars, white goods and furniture, plus more sentimental items
  • Maintenance payments – these may be needed to help cover a child’s or children’s living costs when one of the parents no longer lives with their child or children. We recommend having a legally-binding agreement in place (rather than negotiating terms between you) as payments may be missed which aren’t enforceable

How can we help you?

As you can see from the above, separation and finances are complicated areas of law. You don’t want to leave anything to chance, so we always recommend seeking legal advice for dissolutions.

Unless the relationship is abusive, we endeavour to help you settle terms constructively using mediation to avoid asking the court to draw up a financial order. This involves a trained mediator listening objectively to both points of view. The mediator doesn’t take sides but suggests practical steps you can take to reach an agreement you’re both happy with. As members of Resolution, we take a constructive approach to family law issues that considers the whole family’s needs.

Mediation isn’t free but is quicker and cheaper than going through the courts. You may be eligible for vouchers or Legal Aid if you have children or are on a low income. Please contact us for information.

Mediation also ensures that both partners are fully aware of the financial situation, as one person often handles household finances.

Mediation is the right option for us – what now?

Mediation can be used for any areas of your dissolution that you disagree on but, as this blog is about reaching a financial settlement, we want to tell you how you can make the most of your first session. We’ll need to see details of:

  • Your income – your salary, wages, benefits plus any bonuses you expect
  • Your living expenses – including the rent or mortgage on your property, travel, food and utilities
  • Debts – anything you owe, including credit cards and loans

Bring any statements or bills to your first mediation appointment. You and your partner need to be honest about finances throughout the dissolution process otherwise your agreement may be invalid, and you may have to go through the courts to get a fairer share.

AGR Law

For more information about how our experienced team can support you, please email hello@agrlaw.co.uk or call 0116 340 0094. We offer virtual and face-to-face appointments.

In England and Wales, same-sex and opposite-sex couples can either get married or enter a civil partnership, so there are options for anyone who wishes to formalise their relationship (with or without religious connotations) legally. But how do you know which is right for you?

Eligibility

Conditions are identical for marriages and civil partnerships. Essentially, both parties must be aged 18 or over, not already married or in a civil partnership and not related closely.

Ceremonies and services

Marriages can be solemnised as follows:

  • Same-sex marrying couples say a prescribed form of words. Marriage can be conducted through a civil ceremony or a religious ceremony if a religious organisation has agreed to solemnise marriages of same-sex couples
  • Opposite-sex couples also say prescribed vows, and marriages can be conducted through a civil or religious ceremony

Marriage includes the signing of a marriage certificate.

Civil partnerships for both opposite and same-sex couples are registered by signing a civil partnership document. No words are legally required to be spoken, but partners can choose to include a ceremony if they wish. This can be religious (for same-sex couples only where the organisation has agreed to host them) as long as the formation remains secular.

In the eyes of the law

Same-sex couples have been able to enter a civil partnership since 2005 when new laws were brought in to protect and recognise them. They have also been able to marry since 2014. Opposite-sex couples were restricted to marriage until 2019 when the law was changed to allow them to enter a civil partnership. Civil partners can get married if they wish.

Both marriages and civil partnerships are fundamentally treated the same, with civil partners entitled to the same rights and duties as a lawfully married couple.

The main similarities are:

  • The income and inheritance tax rules cover married couples and civil partners. Despite the name, income tax marriage allowance is also available to civil partners
  • If someone who is married or in a civil partnership dies without making a Will (or has an invalid Will) the rules of intestacy are the same in terms of the deceased’s estate
  • If a civil partnership breaks down, partners are entitled to protection and can make financial claims for children, housing and more as they would if they were married
  • Parents who are in a civil partnership when a child is born get automatic parental responsibility, the same as a married couple
  • Adoption law applies to civil partners and married couples
  • Civil partners largely have the same pension rights as those who are married depending on whether the pension is occupational, private or state

There are minor differences you may need to be aware of:

  • If a couple wishes to end the marriage or civil partnership, a married couple can legally separate with a divorce, whereas a civil partnership is dissolved
  • Married couples are not legally allowed to call themselves civil partners, and civil partners are not legally permitted to call themselves married
  • Civil partnerships are not recognised in all countries, so if a couple wishes to move abroad they should check that country’s laws

Is marriage or a civil partnership right for you?

As detailed above, there are very few legal differences between a marriage and a civil partnership, so the right option for you should be based on your preferences.

If you’re not religious but want to legalise your relationship and enjoy the advantages that married couples do, a civil partnership is the best option. You may also feel uncomfortable with elements of a wedding such as:

  • A bride being ‘given away’
  • Feeling obliged to ask the bride’s father permission to wed
  • Only having the father’s name appearing on the marriage certificate when both the mother and father’s are included on a civil partnership document

If neither marriage nor civil partnership is right, you may wish to continue or begin cohabiting. Contrary to popular belief, there’s no such thing as a common-law marriage. Cohabiting couples aren’t protected like those who are married or in a civil partnership, even if they have been a couple for a long time, have children or jointly own property or businesses.

We strongly recommend drawing up a cohabitation agreement to provide protection should the relationship break down or if one of you dies. Read more about unmarried partners here

About AGR Law

Based in Leicester and Northampton, but also offering virtual appointments, our experienced team can assist with matters relating to family law, including cohabiting and pre-nuptial. You can call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk

The laws surrounding keeping people safe online have been in the news periodically since the basis for the Online Safety Bill, the government’s Online Harms white paper, was published in April 2019.

We want to tell you about the Online Safety Bill and what it will mean if it becomes law.

What is the Online Safety Bill?

A Bill is a proposed law which is put to Parliament by an MP. The Online Safety Bill is brand-new legislation, but Bills may also be updates to existing laws.

The long title for the Online Safety Bill is ‘a Bill to make provision for and in connection with the regulation by OFCOM of certain internet services; for and in connection with communications offences; and for connected purposes.’

Put more simply, the Bill proposes new laws to keep adults and children safe online by making social media companies more responsible for their users’ safety on their platforms.

How do Bills become law?

All Bills begin in either the House of Commons or the House of Lords, but they must be approved by both Houses before becoming law.

The passage of Bills through the House of Commons and the House of Lords largely follows the same process:

  • The first reading is a formality where the title of the Bill is read out before it is printed
  • The second reading is when debate begins
  • The committee stage is where details are examined, and clauses and amendments are debated
  • The third reading is the final debate of the contents of the Bill

When a Bill has been through the passage in both Houses, they consider each other’s amendments and when it is finalised it receives royal assent from the King. He formally agrees to make it into an Act of Parliament, and it becomes law.

Why do we need the Online Safety Bill?

Some social media content is illegal, harmful or age inappropriate. Examples may include:

  • Sexual abuse and violence
  • Promotion or glorification of suicide, eating disorders and self-harm
  • Selling of drugs and weapons
  • Sexual exploitation and revenge porn
  • Illegal immigration and people smuggling
  • Terrorism
  • Hate crime
  • Violence or incitement
  • Fraud

The Online Safety Bill aims to tackle such content by forcing social media platforms to remove it.

Though the contents of the Bill have not yet been finalised, it may also:

  • Prevent underage children from accessing social media platforms using different technologies to check people’s ages more accurately
  • Give adults more control over what they see and who they engage with online
  • Require all social media companies to consider how their platforms allow abusers to create anonymous profiles and ban repeat offenders, or place limitations on their accounts

The Online Safety Bill is being supported by the NSPCC who state a poll by YouGov shows overwhelming support for tougher measures to keep children safe online. They call the Bill ‘an urgent and necessary child protection measure’ and say they are seeing unprecedented levels of grooming and child sexual abuse online.

A statement by the NSPCC’s CEO, Sir Peter Wanless, in January 2023 says that in 2022 the Bill faced delays, meaning children continued to face sexual abuse on an industrial scale. He went on to say this must be the year that legislation delivers systemic change for children.

How will the Online Safety Bill be enforced?

In its current form, the law would expect platforms to demonstrate to OFCOM that they have processes in place that meet the requirements of the Bill. Companies that are found not to be compliant may be fined, and OFCOM may take criminal action against senior managers who fail to give information when requested.

OFCOM will have the power to take action against companies no matter where they are based if they are accessible to UK users.

What’s next for the Online Safety Bill?

The Online Safety Bill has been subject to numerous delays and postponements, as prime ministers and departmental secretaries have changed. In that time, the original focus has changed substantially from online abuse and harassment to child protection, suicide and self-harm.

At the time of writing, it has been through the House of Commons and is at committee stage in the House of Lords:

  • It had its first reading in the House of Commons on 17 March 2022 and reached third reading stage on 17 January 2023
  • It began its passage through the House of Lords on 18 January 2023. The date for the committee stage has yet to be announced

There is no timetable yet for the Bill to be completed.

AGR Law

We’re an award-winning law firm with offices in Leicester and Northampton. We also offer virtual appointments.

We advise individuals, families and businesses, specialising in family law, immigration and personal and commercial services.  Contact us on 0116 340 0094 or hello@agrlaw.co.uk

When separating couples approach us for help, one of the biggest worries they have is financial stability and supporting their family.  The stress of the last few years has put a considerable strain on some relationships, and the current cost-of-living crisis has increased tensions further. Sadly, whilst this may be the cause of several breakups, it’s also the reason estranged couples have no choice but to remain under one roof as they are unable to afford two homes.

We thought it would be helpful to tell you what financial support may be available to you and, later in our blog, how you can manage your relationship if the only option is to continue living together.

Are you entitled to financial support as a single person or parent?

Please note, the below refers to residents in England; the advice may not the same for those living in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Benefits

You may be able to claim Universal Credit If you’re looking for a job or you’re on a low income and need support to cover the costs of housing, children and childcare, remembering that childcare costs may rise if you live as a single parent. To find out if you are entitled to financial support, click HERE

Council tax

Households with only one adult may be able to get a discount on their council tax bill, depending on where you live and other circumstances. You can find out more HERE

Child maintenance

If your partner or spouse doesn’t live with your child as part of your family, but they are their legal, biological or adoptive parent, they will have to pay maintenance to their main carer to support them up to the age of 16, or 20 if they are in approved education or training.

There are several ways you can arrange child maintenance:

  • You can arrange it with the other parent voluntarily
  • You can have maintenance calculated and collected under a government scheme
  • It can be arranged by a court order
  • If you are getting divorced or ending a civil partnership, child arrangements will form part of this process

If you are arranging maintenance yourself, we recommend (even if your separation is amicable) that agreements are put in writing and you take notes of conversations you’ve had. If this is your preferred option but you’re not sure where to begin negotiations, or you’re afraid the process will be difficult, we can help you find a solution with mediation.

Legal Aid

If you need legal help but are worried about costs, your case may be eligible for Legal Aid. Eligibility depends on several factors, including if you or your family are at risk of harm or abuse or if you need family mediation. Find out more about how we can help you HERE

What if the only option is to stay living together?

Sadly, we see cases where couples would prefer to instigate divorce or live separately but are forced to stay under one roof due to finances, so are unable to move on from their situation. According to experts, the number of couples unable to afford separation doubled last year. Surveys also suggest that 30% of couples are staying together because of financial concerns.

Living separate lives whilst still cohabiting is a tricky situation, but it can be bearable short-term unless the relationship is abusive which we cover below.

When separation is slower it can be more amicable. Here is some advice for managing your relationship:

  • Try setting boundaries, such as giving each other space
  • Decide how you are going to co-parent and try not to let your spouse or partner down
  • Try not to keep secrets from each other
  • Decide what you want to do, who you want to see and where you want to go individually now rather than as a couple
  • If you’re not sure whether separation is the right thing to do you can try a trial separation, such as staying with family or friends for a short time, and then see how you both feel
  • Try to support each other. You’re both in the same boat trying to make the most of your situation
  • Set some time aside to discuss how you can save money. Not only will this give you extra funds to put towards your solo futures, but it might also enhance your relationship. Cancelling TV subscriptions may result in more conversations and cooking together rather than going out for meals or getting takeaways might give you both something to focus on and enjoy
  • Be prepared for people not to understand your situation. Splitting up but remaining living together will sound odd to some, but you don’t have to explain yourself if the burden of running two homes is too much in the current economic situation

Financial and economic abuse

As the saying goes, ‘money is power’ and that’s true in a lot of domestic abuse cases where financial and/or economic abuse is taking place.

  • Financial abuse can take several different forms, including controlling the victim’s access to money (even that which they earn themselves), misusing money, using credit cards without permission, gambling with jointly owned assets, drawing up contracts in the victim’s name and refusing to pay child maintenance
  • Economic abuse is when a perpetrator restricts access to money for basic essentials such as food, clothing, transport, employment, training and education

Financial and economic abuse rarely happen in isolation and is often one behaviour in a pattern of coercive control.

As we’ve said before, there is no excuse for domestic abuse of any kind, and that includes stress or pressure caused by the cost-of-living crisis. If you or your family are in immediate danger, call 999 and seek help from the police. Refuge has a freephone, 24-hour helpline you can call for advice: 0808 2000 247

Do you need help?

Our team are family law specialists offering the best legal advice, representing you where needed and understanding that separating is an uncertain and worrying time.

Call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk if you need our advice or support.

February 2023 sees new laws coming into effect which raise the marriage age in England and Wales to 18. Previously, people aged 16 and 17 were able to marry or enter a civil partnership with parental consent.

Why is change needed?

The new laws aim to end coercive or abusive child marriages by stopping those under 18 from being forced to wed under any circumstances.

Currently, forced marriage is only seen as an offence if the person facilitating it uses coercion, such as threats, to pressure someone to marry or if the person lacks the mental capacity to consent to marriage.

In 2021 more than 20 organisations, including charities and women’s rights organisations working to protect women and children, wrote a letter to the prime minister stating that young people were not sufficiently protected.

They warned that previous legislation failed to protect young people as laws allowing 16 and 17-year-olds to marry were being exploited. They also said there was no provision to prevent religious or customary child marriages from taking place at any age. They urged the government to criminalise child marriage, saying it is invisible but ‘thriving’ in the UK.

The letter also talked about the onus on the child to secure their own protection and speak out against their family and community, which can have dangerous consequences.

It’s thought that safeguarding children from forced marriage will increase their opportunities to complete education and personal development, reduce social exclusion and isolation, boost employment opportunities, stop cases of domestic abuse, sexual abuse and ‘honour’ based violence, and prevent complications in pregnancy and childbirth.

How big a problem is child marriage in the UK?

Data from the Office of National Statistics (ONS) shows 3,096 marriages involving children aged 16 and 17 were registered in England and Wales between 2007 and 2017. However, these statistics don’t fully reflect the situation as data on non-registered religious or customary child marriages, or those which take place abroad, is not captured. This means child marriage is largely hidden.

In 2020 the UK’s Forced Marriage Unit dealt with 199 cases involving children under 18. This was 26% of their total cases, and 79% of victims and survivors were female from across 54 countries outside of the UK, illustrating the scale of the global problem.

Honour-based abuse charity Karma Nirvana says that since 2017, their national Honour Based Abuse Helpline has responded to over 400 cases relating to child marriage.

The new marriage laws

Under the new laws under 18s will not face penalties for marrying, but adults who facilitate underage weddings (including those who take their children abroad to marry), may be fined and face up to seven years in prison.

The new law applies to all marriages – registered marriages which are recognised under British law and both unregistered and registered religious or customary marriages.

Other possible changes to marriage law in England and Wales

The main law surrounding marriage is decades old, and the government feels it doesn’t reflect modern life. They asked the Law Commission of England and Wales to review legislation due to concerns it isn’t working for many couples.

The Commission published its report on marriage laws in July 2022. The review recommended overhauling the current laws to increase choice for couples (whilst preserving the dignity of weddings and safeguarding religious groups’ practices and rules) and simplifying the legal framework to support and celebrate marriage.

In brief:

  • New laws to give couples more choice over where their wedding is held. The wider range of wedding venues may include outdoor venues such as parks, gardens, beaches and forests. Indoor venues could include community centres, village halls and homes. They also recommended that couples may tie the knot in international waters on UK-registered cruise ships. It’s thought that more options will increase affordability and help reduce the backlog caused by the pandemic
  • Couples should be able to give notice of their intended wedding online, and notices will be published online to make them accessible to the wider community
  • Ceremonies should be more reflective of the couples’ values and beliefs. Regarding religious ceremonies, they recommend that they may take place in a venue other than a place of worship, may be led by an interfaith minister and incorporate religious elements (such as hymns and prayers) into civil ceremonies as long as the ceremony remains civil
  • Options for independent officiants to conduct civil weddings
  • Increase clarity on the consequences for couples who have not complied with the required formalities and fewer weddings conducted that follow religious rites but are not recognised by the law

At the time of writing, the report is under review by the government.

Do you need help with a matter relating to marriage law?

Our experienced team can help with legal issues relating to marriage, including pre-nuptial agreements, matrimonial finances and marriages which are recognised by your faith but not by the law. We can also assist where couples don’t wish to get married or enter a civil partnership but want legal protection as a cohabiting couple.

Call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk to find out more.

The festive period can be demanding, but setting and communicating boundaries can help reduce stress and ensure you spend your time in a way that doesn’t impact your wellbeing.

Time boundaries

Learning to say no to invitations when you have too much to do or need some space can be difficult and leave you worrying that you’ve upset the host.

If you find declining difficult, or the host has put you on the spot, buy yourself some time by saying: ‘let me think about it/check my diary/ask my spouse and I’ll get back to you’ before saying no.

Try to do this as quickly as possible, otherwise it will cause you anxiety and the host may be waiting for replies so they can finalise their plans.

Politely decline invitations by:

  • Apologising so they are prepared for your answer to be a ‘no’
  • Thank them sincerely to reassure them you appreciate being asked
  • Say you’re unable to make it without going into too much detail
  • Say you hope they have a good time
  • If you would like to see the person or people at a later date, say that you will be in touch to arrange that

Don’t make excuses as they may respond with a workaround. For example, if you say you can’t go for a meal because you have nobody to babysit, they may say you can bring the children with you.

It will be easier to decline via text message, WhatsApp or email as if it is done in person or over the phone they may persuade you to change your mind.

You could also send the host a gift to enjoy at the event, such as a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates and ask the next day whether they had a nice time.

Physical boundaries

Some people love greeting others with hugs and kisses on the cheek, but others don’t. If a friend or family member invades your personal space, it can be hard to tell them their behaviour makes you uncomfortable. It may be embarrassing for you and them, but you are entitled to refuse physical contact with anyone.

It’s best to be proactive than reactive, so telling someone from the beginning is better than tolerating several hugs or kisses and losing your temper by the final one.

Try saying: ‘It’s lovely to see you, but I don’t like hugging/kissing. How about a handshake instead?’ Put out your hand at this point for them to take.

Emotional boundaries

Friends and families are supposed to support each other through tough times, but it’s OK to say you’re unable to help if you’re at breaking point. Remember, no matter how much advice you give someone you cannot solve their problems for them so don’t take them on as your own.

Try saying: ‘I wish I could help, but I can’t take on anyone else’s problems because my own are overwhelming me’

Intellectual boundaries

Just because you enjoy spending time with someone, doesn’t necessarily mean you agree on all matters. For example, your brother-in-law may support a different football team and dislikes yours, or your best friend may prefer one political party over another, and you think otherwise.

Even if light-hearted, conversations can escalate and become awkward, ruining the atmosphere of a party and making others feel uneasy.

It is acceptable to disagree but, if things are getting out of hand, politely suggest the conversation should end because you don’t agree and change the subject.

If the person you are speaking to is disrespectful or aggressive, tell them you feel offended as they may not be aware. It is OK for them to have an opinion, but not to force it on you.

Try saying: ‘This is a difficult subject; shall we talk about something else?’ They may need to have the last word, but after that find something you both enjoy talking about instead.

Our team’s top five tips for boundary setting

  1. Don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries. You have nothing to apologise for; it’s not selfish to recognise that your needs are valid. You need to feel content which may mean ensuring people no longer take advantage of you.
  2. Thank people who respect your boundaries, such as the person who gives you a fist bump rather than a hug.
  3. You own your time. Giving too much time to others can leave you burnt out. Set aside time to watch your favourite TV programme, have a bath, read a book or have a pamper session each week and it will soon become part of your self-care routine.
  4. Plan your time so you spend it with people who value you and give you energy. You may be obliged to see people who make you feel exhausted or miserable but try to limit how long you spend with them. Make it clear from the beginning that you have other commitments, so it can only be a short visit.
  5. Don’t move your boundaries for someone else’s benefit, for example, it’s important to say when you’ve had enough to eat and drink. People can sometimes go too far in encouraging you to continue when you’ve had enough. They see it as being generous and kind without realising that overdoing it can ruin your time with them. Instead, politely decline without apologising, explaining, or fearing you’ve caused offence.

The team at AGR Law would like to thank our clients for trusting us with their family law matters this year and wish everyone celebrating Christmas a happy and relaxing time.

The theme of Resolution’s Good Divorce Week 2022 (28 November to 02 December) is ending the family court crisis.

With the number of divorces rising, courts are facing an unprecedented backlog, and couples have to wait on average 52 weeks to conclude proceedings. This leaves important matters unresolved for too long, increasing uncertainty and anxiety for the couple and their family.

Resolution, the association of 6,500 family justice professionals of which we are members, is highlighting the crisis through Good Divorce Week. They recently surveyed members, and the results show:

  • 90% said court backlogs were causing additional and unnecessary stress and pressure for clients
  • 34% said they’d referred a client to a counsellor or therapist to help them cope with the stress of ongoing court delays
  • 20% said court delays caused clients to rely on benefits

The latest statistics

Statistics show:

  • There were 113,000 divorces in 2021, that’s a rise of nearly 10% on the previous year
  • Private children cases were down by 7%, but they are taking on average nearly a year to reach a conclusion. That’s six weeks longer than the previous year
  • Estimates suggest it takes nearly two years to resolve financial matters

What does that mean for divorcing couples?

The delay leaves couples in limbo, putting the family’s life on hold and meaning they cannot move on for too long.

This has a knock-on effect on every aspect of day-to-day life. Children may suffer the consequences of the delay more as they may not know which parent they will be living with, how much they will see the other parent and even which school they will be going to until the divorce is finalised.

#ABetterWay – resolving disputes away from court

We work with families through separation, so we recognise that divorcing can be stressful and traumatic for everyone involved.

As Resolution members, we adopt a constructive and non-confrontational approach to resolving family issues. We encourage separating couples to agree divorce terms, such as finances, division of assets and living and children arrangements, through mediation. This method is more amicable, prevents lengthy and costly court battles, and ensures you have more control of your future.

You can find out more about the benefits of mediation HERE

What can you do?

As part of Good Divorce Week, Resolution is raising the issue of the court crisis in Parliament with MPs and peers. They are also highlighting options that are available to families to resolve disputes outside of the court. If fewer cases went to court, those that need to be dealt with by a judge (such as divorce cases involving domestic abuse) could be dealt with quicker.

Resolution is asking as many people as possible to contact their MP to encourage them to get involved in the campaign. They have produced a template that can be personalised, and they ask for any responses to be forwarded to them.

Find out more HERE

If you’d like advice on any aspect of divorce, contact us on hello@agrlaw.co.uk or call 0116 340 0094