Category Archives: Family

Domestic abuse charity Refuge says that two out of three of their refuge residents are children, and research indicates that 90% will have been in the same room or in a room next to where domestic violence has occurred. 62% will have been directly abused.

Even if a child is not the direct target of the abuse, witnessing it and seeing a loved one being harmed can intensify their feelings of insecurity and fear. This exposure can lead to severe trauma with long-lasting implications.

In addition, children who live in homes where domestic abuse occurs may not receive the care and support they need to develop properly from their parents or caregivers. This lack of support often results from the heavy burden of the abuse, particularly if the victim turns to drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism.

Legally, any child who witnesses or experiences any form of domestic abuse, whether directly or indirectly, is considered to be subjected to child abuse.

What does this mean for a child’s mental health?

The development of a child’s brain can be influenced by positive and negative experiences at key stages, typically 0-5 and 12-25 years. Early experiences play a crucial role in a child’s learning, health and behaviour, and the harmful effects of damaging experiences can cause significant issues as the child matures. Feeling cared for and supported may reduce the harmful effects and promote healthy brain development, but a caregiver who is affected by domestic abuse may be physically and emotionally unable to provide this necessary support.

Development is affected by:

• Interacting – Babies interact with adults by mimicking them and making noises to convey feelings of hunger, illness or that they’re in need of affection. If adults fail to respond, development can be interrupted which has implications for later life
• Stress – Ongoing stress with no or inconsistent support can lead to life-long mental and physical health problems. Some stress can aid development, such as certain social situations or taking an exam, but exposure to domestic abuse can be damaging, especially where there is no support to lessen the affects and help the child to develop coping skills
• Attachment issues – Attachment theory is the name given to the vital bond between a child and their primary caregiver, especially from early infancy. If this is disrupted, the implications can be severe and wide ranging. The child may become aggressive, disconnected from other children and show no interest in playing with toys, fear a parent or become distressed when they are not there, even for a short time. As they get older, they may reject the caregiver’s attempts to connect with them and become unable to develop adult relationships

Recognising mental health problems in children

The psychological effects of domestic abuse can include:

• Aggressive, disruptive, bullying and challenging behaviour
• Anxiety, fear and depression
• Withdrawal and an inability to interact with others
• Mood swings
• Suicidal feelings
• An inability to form a bond with one of more parent or caregiver
• Declining performance at school and truancy
• Harming or threatening to harm pets
• Self-harming and eating disorders
• Difficulty sleeping, nightmares and bedwetting
• Vandalism
• Drug and alcohol abuse

Some signs of mental health issues might be dismissed as normal behaviour, such as young children having tantrums or a teenager being moody and withdrawn, so it’s important to recognise when there is an issue.

Talking to your child about their feelings

Children may feel too ashamed or afraid to talk about domestic abuse, or they might not be able to find the words to describe what they have witnessed or are going through. They may also feel it is normal for families to live like that if they have never known any different, or the abuser may have persuaded them that their situation is typical or that the abuse is their fault and talking about it will make things worse.

Some children bottle their feelings up as they fear they won’t be taken seriously so nobody will help them, or they won’t be believed or understood, so it’s important to approach conversations carefully.

Using language which is appropriate to their age and development is crucial when they’re ready to talk. A child will feel listened to if your language reflects theirs, for example they may say they feel nervous rather than anxious, so you need to do the same.

During conversations, try to:

• Explain why it’s important to have difficult conversations sometimes
• Validate their thoughts and opinions
• Go at their pace
• Not looked shocked, embarrassed or upset
• Admit when you don’t know the answer to a specific question and answer any you can as honestly as is appropriate
• Never promise that you will keep certain aspects they disclose a secret as they may tell you something which you need to report, such as the abuser’s behaviour towards them
• Remind them the abuse is never their fault or the fault of the victim
• Praise them for finding the courage to speak to you to encourage them to talk further. Tell them you love them
• Encourage them to mix with other people to avoid isolation
• Teach them to dial 999 if they’re in danger, but avoid burdening them with adult responsibility
• Remind them it is not their responsibility to protect you, and intervening may be dangerous
• Lead by example and show them you’re seeking help too

Get help to support your child when domestic abuse is occurring

If you or your child are in immediate danger, ring 999 and ask for the police. Domestic abuse is a crime and will be treated as such.

You can also contact the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000 or help@nspcc.org.uk for advice on supporting your child.

Help is also available from Refuge and their team of child support officers.

AGR Law

Our compassionate, experienced team are available to support all aspects of domestic abuse cases, including obtaining a non-molestation order to protect you and your family.

Domestic abuse victims are not required to pay a fee to the court to issue this injunction, and you may be eligible for Legal Aid if your income is low and your circumstances meet the qualification criteria.

Contact us on hello@agrlaw.co.uk or 0116 340 0094 to find out more.

For parents who are separated, Christmas can be emotionally challenging. This blog offers practical advice for co-parents to make the season enjoyable and stress-free.

Make plans for the festive period early

We recommend discussing and agreeing on plans with your former spouse or partner as early as possible. This will allow enough time for you to resolve any disputes (seeking legal advice if necessary), understand your responsibilities and plan accordingly. By doing so, you can relax and enjoy Christmas without any last-minute changes or challenges, unless unforeseen circumstances occur.

Try to come to an agreement that prioritises the needs of your child. This may require both of you to set aside your personal issues and find a level of compromise. Remember, this is a special time for your younger family members so the focus should be on them. Ask older children for their preferences to show them that their views are important, but avoid putting pressure on them by asking them to choose between you.

You and your ex naturally want to make the most of this time with your child, but remember they may get tired and overwhelmed, especially if they’re splitting their time between two homes, visiting two sets of grandparents and/or other relatives, having two Christmas dinners etc. It’s important to avoid tiring them out, as it could ruin their enjoyment with the other parent.

Avoiding counter-parenting

Counter-parenting is where one parent tries to compete for their child’s favour and increase their popularity over the other by trying to outdo them.

This could be by:

• Spoiling the child with lavish gifts or activities over the agreed spending limit
• Allowing the child unlimited access to unhealthy food when you have agreed with the other parent to disallow it
• Letting the child stay up late when you have agreed to a routine bedtime
• Allowing them to watch films or TV shows that you have agreed are unsuitable for their age or disposition

If both of you adhere to your agreement, counter-parenting will be avoided.

What do you need to plan?

• Arrangements for each day. You are both likely to want to have the child on Christmas Day, so compromise will be needed if you can’t host the day together as a family. Explore options such as having two Christmas Days, alternate each year so you each get to spend the most important days with your child or, if travel and distance permits, have the child for half of Christmas Day each
• What gifts to get: decide how much you’re each going to spend and who is getting what to avoid repetition. Also, agree what not to get. Buying a child a noisy or large toy, such as a drum set, with the expectation that it will be kept at the other parent’s house may cause arguments
• When the child is seeing family and friends
• Changeover: times and places that the child will be dropped off and picked up
• Any trips or holidays that means one of the parents will be unable to see the child

Introducing your child to a new girl or boyfriend

Christmas is a time to spend with loved ones, so if you’re introducing your child to a new partner, it’s advisable to:

• Let your ex-partner or spouse know to avoid any awkwardness or unpleasant surprises. Discuss the best way to approach the introduction to support your child to adjust. In some circumstances, introducing your new partner to your ex before they meet the children is wise to provide reassurance
• Make sure you’re certain about the longevity of the relationship. Children will get upset and confused if they’re introduced to multiple people
• If you can, tell your children together to help them to process the change and show that you are still united as a family
• Spend time alone with your child to help prevent them feeling that your new relationship threatens the one you have with them
• Take your time and don’t rush into blending your family this way. You will only get one chance, and you need to work together to make it as positive as possible for your child

Things to remember when planning Christmas:

• Try to communicate cooperatively and openly. Talking face to face might be easier if that’s possible, but note the finalised plan down or arrange it via text or email if you feel you need it in writing to hold your ex responsible
• Wider family may want to see you and your child over Christmas but try not to let them pressure you. It may be impossible to please everyone. Perhaps you could see them another time when you’re less busy, or combine their visits so you host a larger group and celebrate Christmas all together
• Try to focus on having a good time and creating new memories and traditions rather than what Christmas used to be like
• Take care of yourself when your children aren’t with you. It’s natural to feel emotional if the senses of loss, anxiety and loneliness are heightened. Make plans to keep yourself occupied or embrace the quieter time by watching a film or reading a book. Your child may be concerned about leaving you to spend time with the other parent, so try your best to reassure them you’ll be OK

The legal situation

Contact us if you need help to resolve a dispute about child contact, your ex has broken (or is threatening to break) a court order, or if you need guidance on parental rights.

You can email us on hello@agrlaw.co.uk or phone 0116 340 0094 to speak to a member of our experienced team.

 

What is parental responsibility?

Outlined in the Children Act 1989, which you can read more about here, parental responsibility is defined as:

“All the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property.”

To summarise, parental responsibility refers to the legal rights and duties that require and enable parents to make appropriate decisions about their child’s upbringing.

It includes making a parent responsible for their child’s:

• Schooling and education
• Welfare
• Discipline
• Medical treatment
• Religion
• Name – choosing, registering or changing
• Living arrangements
• Travel abroad – holidays or relocation

Who has parental responsibility?

Parental responsibility varies greatly depending on the couple’s circumstances.

All birth mothers automatically have parental responsibility.

With unmarried parents or those who are not in a civil partnership, the father of a child only has automatic parental responsibility if they are named on the birth certificate.

Fathers who do not have automatic parental responsibility can get it by jointly registering the child’s birth or being named on a legally binding parental responsibility agreement. The court can also award parental responsibility via a parental responsibility order, a residence order (if before 22 April 2014) or being named as the resident parent on a child arrangements order.

Same-sex couples who are married or in a civil partnership have parental responsibility if they were a couple in the eyes of the law at the time of receiving fertility treatment or donor insemination. If you were not in a civil partnership or marriage at this time, the second parent can apply for parental responsibility.

Stepfathers, stepmothers, grandparents, family members and carers do not have automatic parental responsibility, but:

• Stepparents can gain parental responsibility through a parental responsibility agreement, applying for a parental responsibility order from the court or adopting the child
• Others can gain parental responsibility by getting a child arrangements order, being appointed as a guardian or special guardian, or adopting the child

Does a parent without parental responsibility have to pay maintenance?

In law, parental responsibility and child maintenance are treated separately. Regardless of their relationship with the child or their mother, a father with or without parental responsibility must support his child. He also has the right to apply for court orders (as outlined above) and apply for reasonable contact with his child if they have entered the care system.

What happens if parents can’t agree on important matters?

Major decisions regarding a child, such as changing their name, moving abroad or putting them up for adoption, must be agreed upon in writing by all those with parental responsibility.

If disagreements occur, we recommend family mediation. This is where future-focussed conversations are facilitated by a neutral party and the parents are encouraged to consider the best interests of the child. Mediation may be held separately, together or be a combination of both.

If an amicable decision cannot be reached, either parent, with or without parental responsibility, can apply to the court for:

• A prohibited steps order which stops the other person from making decisions about the child
• A specific issue order for a particular dispute, such as the child’s school or religion

A court order means a judge makes the decision for the parents based on what they consider to be the best course of action for the child.

Parental responsibility for separated couples

Where a relationship breaks down and only the mother has parental responsibility, she automatically has the right for the child to remain with her. The father or the partner of either parent has no rights without a parental agreement (where married) or court order.

If you apply for a court order, you will need to prove that you are committed to the child, that a degree of attachment exists between you, and that the application is in the best interests of the child.

How long does a parent legally have parental responsibility?

Parents have parental responsibility until the child reaches the age of 18, is adopted, or if a court order prohibits it.

How can AGR Law help?

Our experienced team supports parents in all matters relating to parental responsibility, including prohibited steps orders, specific issue orders, adoption, guardianship, name changes and more.

Email us on hello@agrlaw.co.uk or call 0116 340 0094 to find out more.

What is covered by Children Law?

Children Law is a significant area of the legal system covering:

• Child custody, arrangements and access
• Surrogacy and adoption
• Care and maintenance
• Child welfare, protection and safeguarding
• Orders pertaining to important aspects of a child’s life such as care, education and religion
• Children’s rights, including the right to education, a safe home, appropriate employment and support if they need to leave home

These laws aim to ensure a child is safe, well and cared for, and that their rights are protected.

How is a child legally defined?

In England, a child is defined as anyone who has not yet reached their 18^th birthday, even if they are over 16 and living independently, in further education, in the armed forces, being treated in hospital or in the justice system.

Important Children Law Acts

The subject of Children Law is vast, so this blog outlines some of the main Acts and what the laws mean to children.

Children Act 1989

This Act defines how children should be kept safe and protected from harm. It forms the basis of children’s services’ duties and responsibilities, specifically identifying children in need, supporting their family to bring them up safely (if their welfare is not compromised by remaining in the family home) and taking the correct action if they consider a child to be suffering, or likely to suffer, significant harm.

It defines parental responsibility and the court orders that children’s services and families can apply for.

Key principles include:

• The welfare of the child
• That a child should be cared for by their family where possible
• The need for children’s services and the court to take the wishes and feelings of the child into account
• Intervention where necessary and supporting, not undermining, the parent who should be helped to remain closely involved in their child’s life unless the child is at risk of harm
• Preventing delays to court proceedings in cases involving a child
• Finding a suitable placement with kinship carers, such as a relative or friend, if a child cannot remain living with their parent(s)

Children Act 2004

This Act expands on the Children Act 1989. It outlines how local authorities should work with other agencies, such as the police and youth offending teams, to promote safety and wellbeing through an integrated approach to the planning, commissioning and delivery of children’s services.

It requires local and national authorities to provide strong leadership by appointing accountable people, including a Children’s Commissioner and directors and lead members of children’s services. It also required local authorities to set up safeguarding boards.

It provides the legal basis for how issues relating to children should be dealt with by agencies and underpins the UK government’s ‘Every Child Matters: Change for Children’ initiative.

The Act’s key values:

• Ensuring children are healthy, happy and leading an enjoyable life
• Ensuring children are safe
• Supporting children to succeed
• Helping to achieve economic stability for a child’s future
• Making a positive contribution to a child’s life

Children and Social Work Act 2017

This Act amends both of the above and defines improvements to the support of looked after children and care leavers, promotes the welfare and safeguarding of children, and establishes provisions for social workers via a new regulatory regime.

Key provisions include:

• Local authorities are known as ‘corporate parents’ to looked after children and care leavers, and this Act outlines seven corporate parenting principles
• The requirement for local authorities to publish a ‘local offer’ for care leavers setting out the services available to them to help them prepare for adulthood and independence, including a personal advisor if they’re under 25
• Requiring any court making decisions about long-term placements for children to consider the impact (or likelihood of) any harm to the child, and how their current and future needs will be met
• Adding prospective adopters (with whom a child has been placed) to the list the court will consider when deciding about adopters
• Removing the local safeguarding children board and employing the local authority, a clinical commissioning group and the police as key safeguarding partners to decide locally how best to work together to improve safeguarding

Children Law and us

We understand that the breakdown of a family is a difficult time for everyone involved. Our children-first approach puts the needs of younger family members at the centre of cases. By encouraging families seeking support with legal matters to put the interests of any children first, we endeavour to find the best outcome for them.

We can support you with:

• Child arrangements
• Childcare cases
• Prohibited steps orders
• Specific issue orders
• Change of name
• Parental responsibility
• Special guardianship
• Adoption
• Child maintenance
• Childcare proceedings for public law children matters

Get in touch with us via email to hello@agrlaw.co.uk or 0116 340 0094. We are able to provide Legal Aid or litigation loans to those eligible.

If you suspect or know that a child is in immediate danger, please ring 999 and speak to the police. If you believe a child may be at risk of being in danger, but is not in immediate danger, you can ring 101 or report it to the NSPCC

Following on from her role as President of Leicestershire Law Society (2022-2023), Gina Samuel-Richards has, as of 6^th April 2024, been appointed as the Under Sheriff of Leicestershire. Gina takes on the role after Helen Johnson steps down after seven years in the role.

The Under Sheriff provides continuity and consistency to the Shrievalty, giving valuable advice to the High Sheriff in the protocols of court and ceremonial matters, as well as advice on governance.

The Under Sheriff is the liaison between the Shrievalty and the other institutions involved in the field of Law and Order.

Cohabiting couples live together but are not legally married or in a civil partnership. This term also covers couples whose marriage is recognised by their faith but not by the law, as they do not comply with certain requirements.

There is no legal definition for someone who is part of a cohabiting couple. Although some incorrectly refer to themselves as being in a common-law marriage, you’re not legally viewed as a couple. Therefore, you have few rights around property, finances, and children if the relationship ends or one of you dies unless specified in a valid Will or cohabitation agreement.

We recommend that you also consider the following to help protect you and your partner.

Property

• Renting a property together – a tenancy agreement with both names on it makes you equally responsible for paying the rent and conforming to the terms. If the relationship breaks down and one of you moves out, the tenancy agreement should be altered to reflect this change
• Buying a property together – including both names on the deeds means, if you split up, you will be entitled to your share of the property. There are two types of tenants – joint tenants (where you own the property together) or tenants in common (where you each own a share). If your partner dies, you will not automatically inherit their share unless stated in their Will
• Your partner owns or mortgages a property and you move in – unless your name is added to the deeds, you will need to prove to the court you have contributed to a deposit or mortgage payments, or have made a large financial contribution such as major work on the house, on the understanding that you will be entitled to a share if you separate. If your partner dies, you will not be entitled to inherit unless it’s stated in a valid Will
• You own the property together outright – we recommend you agree on what will happen to the property and state this in a cohabitation agreement or Will

Finance

Cohabiting couples have no financial responsibility to each other if the relationship breaks down. If you have children, you may receive payments from your ex-partner to provide for them, but the law does not oblige them to financially support you also.

Children and parental responsibility in England and Wales

A child’s mother automatically has parental responsibility, meaning she can make decisions on important matters such as living arrangements, medical care, education, religion and managing the child’s property.

Where parents are not married, the father of a child whose birth was registered before 01 December 2003 has no automatic parental responsibility, even if they are named on the birth certificate. If the birth was registered after 01 December 2003, the father only obtains parental responsibility if they are named on the birth certificate.

To gain parental responsibility as an unmarried father, you need to jointly register the birth with the mother or be named on a parental responsibility agreement by the mother of the child or by way of court order.

For same-sex couples, both have parental responsibility if they were in a civil partnership or married at the time of receiving fertility treatment or donor insemination. If you were not in a civil partnership or marriage, the second parent can apply for parental responsibility.

How AGR Law can help protect your and your partner

Cohabitation is a complex area, and the outcome of a dispute often depends on individual circumstances. The law does not protect you in the same way as those who are married or in a civil partnership, so we recommend having a cohabitation agreement in place and a valid, up-to-date Will.

Our experienced team can help with:

• Drawing up and updating Wills
• Cohabitation agreements
• Tenancy and joint tenancy agreements
• Parental responsibility agreements
• Determining whether your marriage is recognised by the law

Call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk for more information.

Last year, the Child Support Collection (Domestic Abuse) Bill gained Royal Ascent. This means the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) will have greater powers to intervene in cases where parents have separated due to domestic abuse, providing improved financial protection for parents who have separated from perpetrators.

What does the CMS do?

Child maintenance ensures living costs are covered when a couple separates, and one of the parents no longer lives with a child or children. It may also be needed when the parents have never been in a relationship. To be eligible, the child or children must be up to the age of 16 or 20 and in full-time education.

The CMS acts in two ways – ‘direct pay’ and ‘collect and pay.’

• Direct pay is when the CMS calculates how much needs to be paid voluntarily by the non-resident parent
• Collect and pay is for when direct payments have been repeatedly missed. The CMS collects payments from the non-resident parent, and pays them to the resident parent

Why are the new laws needed?

Through the new laws, any resident parent whose former spouse or partner was abusive will be able to access child maintenance via collect and pay. They will be able to do this without having to prove that direct payments have been missed, and consent from the perpetrator will not be necessary.

This will mean the CMS will act on the resident parent’s behalf, meaning they will not need to be in contact with their abuser to arrange maintenance payments, though they will need to provide evidence of abuse.

This is a huge step forward in preventing financial abuse, emotional abuse and blackmail where a perpetrator withholds (or threatens to withhold) payments.

In addition, the new laws will:

• Give the CMS power to report suspected financial abuse cases to the Crown Prosecution Service to help bring abusers to justice
• Provide CMS staff with enhanced domestic abuse training
• Waive CMS fees for domestic abuse cases
• Trial one-to-one support for domestic abuse survivors

How did the new Bill come about?

In 2017, Emma Day was murdered by Mark Norris, her abusive ex- partner with whom she had a child. Her murder followed arguments between them surrounding maintenance payments. Investigations revealed Ms Day had made the CMS aware of the history of domestic abuse and the violent threats she had received from Norris.

South London Coroner’s Court’s Domestic Homicide Review urgently recommended an independent review into how the CMS supported parents who had experienced domestic abuse and needed to set up maintenance payments. This was carried out in 2021. It highlighted the need for the CMS to provide greater protection to its clients and a robust training programme for staff.

Dr Samantha Callan, who was commissioned to lead the review, said:

“As well as violence, there is now legal recognition that domestic abuse includes financial and other forms of coercive control which can continue to play out – or be initiated – after parents separate. My review highlights the pressing need for the Child Maintenance Service to help protect its clients from all forms of abuse and be aware that these can be perpetrated by the receiving as well as the paying parent and I am pleased the Government is acting on my recommendations.”

The Child Support Collection (Domestic Abuse) Act 2023 Bill had its first reading in the House of Lords in June 2022. It received Royal Assent in June 2023.

Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse can take all sorts of forms, including coercive control, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, financial (or economic) abuse, harassment or stalking and online or digital abuse.

It is a crime, and the police and other authorities treat it as such. The perpetrator may try to convince you that the abuse is your fault and that it’s a normal part of being in a relationship, but this is not the case.

If you and/or your children are in immediate danger, ring 999 and seek police assistance. If you need non-urgent help:

• Refuge (women) – telephone 0808 200 0247 (freephone, open 24/7)
• Women’s Aid – livechat via their website or email helpline@womensaid.org.uk
• Find a local domestic abuse service here
• Respect (men) telephone 0808 801 0327 (freephone, 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday)

How can AGR Law help?

We specialise in Family Law and Domestic Abuse, and can help separating parents with childcare arrangements, child arrangements, financial matters and more.  Contact us on hello@agrlaw.co.uk or 0116 340 0094 if you need support.