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Mental wellbeing support for the legal community

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

Have you heard of LawCare? They are a mental wellbeing charity for the legal community, established almost 25 years ago. Their research shows that the accepted working practices and culture in the legal profession can be detrimental to mental wellbeing.  

To mark World Mental Health Day on Monday 10 October, the 10th day of the 10th month, LawCare has launched a ‘Tell Ten’ campaign. They are encouraging people working in law to spread the word about the services they offer by emailing, texting or tagging 10 colleagues or friends on social media.

We take mental health seriously at AGR Law, so we want to tell you about LawCare and the good work they do in case you or someone you know may benefit from their help.

LawCare provides support services and information to help anyone in the UK working in law so they can better deal with issues in their personal and professional lives. They also work with organisations, such as regulators and professional bodies, to encourage healthy workplaces that support mental wellbeing, allowing legal professionals to thrive.

Their website is packed full of useful podcasts and articles covering all sorts of subjects, from dealing with stress and managing your relationship with alcohol, to loneliness at work and grief and loss.

If you need a safe space to talk about how you feel, they offer free, confidential support via email, online chat and a phone helpline. Trained staff and volunteers who have worked in law are available to help you. They can signpost you to other agencies, if required.

LawCare also runs a peer support scheme, offering one-to-one support. Peers are all experienced volunteers with lived experience who can offer help, encouragement and mentoring on a range of different issues such as anxiety, stress, depression, addiction and more.

If you want to join a specialist group to network and share experiences, their website includes an extensive list. Groups include women-only, minoritised groups, LGBTQ+, disabled and more.

Here are 10 reasons to contact LawCare:

  • LawCare’s services are free of charge
  • Staff and volunteers understand the challenges that life in law brings
  • They promise complete confidentiality. You don’t have to give your name and, if you fear someone you know has recognised your voice, you can leave your details and another team member will call you back
  • You can contact them about any issue at all, from a bad day at work to something more serious such as being investigated by a regulator
  • One-to-one peer support can be for weeks or months
  • Support is available to anyone working in law in the UK, Channel Islands and Isle of Man
  • They help everyone; support staff, solicitors, barristers, judges, chartered legal executives, chartered trademark attorneys, patent attorneys, costs lawyers and paralegals, including those studying and in training
  • They have helped over 10,000 legal professionals in almost 25 years
  • They may be able to provide funding for counselling or therapy
  • 5% of service users would recommend LawCare to others

If you work in the legal profession and need support, you can contact LawCare on 0800 279 6888, email support@lawcare.org.uk or head to their website for the online chat and other resources.

If you’re struggling with mental health and need help, the below may be useful too:

PAPYRUS Hopeline – For anyone under the age of 35 who is experiencing thoughts of suicide

Website – https://www.papyrus-uk.org/

Call – 0800 068 4141 (9am-midnight every day)

Text – 07860 039 967

Email – pat@papyrus-uk.org

Mind – advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem

Website – https://www.mind.org.uk/

Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (9am-6pm, Monday to Friday, excluding bank holidays)

Email – info@mind.org.uk

Calm – Campaign Against Living Miserably

Website – https://www.thecalmzone.net/ (includes livechat 5pm-midnight every day)

Call – 0800 58 58 58 (freephone, 5pm-midnight every day)

Samaritans – emotional support

Website – https://www.samaritans.org/

Call – 116 123 (freephone, open 24hrs)
Email – jo@samaritans.org

NHS resources – tips and urgent help

https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/

Updates to domestic abuse law

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

Over two million adults, around four times the population of Leicestershire, are estimated to be affected by domestic abuse every year in England and Wales. Two-thirds of victims are women.

Some of the laws that cover this area are found in the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, which received Royal Ascent and became law throughout 2021-22. The Minister for Safeguarding at the time the Act was passed, Victoria Atkins MP, said: “Domestic abuse is an abhorrent crime perpetrated on victims and their families by those who should love and care for them. This landmark Bill will help transform the response to domestic abuse, helping to prevent offending, protect victims and ensure they have the support they need.”

The Act was a significant step forward for victims as it was the first to legally define domestic abuse and it emphasised that it is not just physical or sexual violence, but also emotional abuse, controlling and coercive behaviour, violent and threatening behaviour, and economic abuse.

The Act covered many issues that have previously prevented victims from getting the justice and future they deserve. Some of the changes were related to:

  • Separated partners and family members who do not live together
  • The law regarding revenge porn – this was extended to include threats to share images and videos
  • New Protection Notices and Protection Orders – they will now prevent perpetrators from contacting their victims and force them to change their behaviour by, for example, seeking help with their mental health

Clare’s Law (or the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme) has been put on a statutory foundation, meaning it is now a law. As a result, anyone can contact the police to ask if they (or someone they know) are in a relationship with a person with a record of abusive offences who may pose a risk to them. Despite its name, it was previously a policy document issued as guidance.

Clare’s Law is named after Clare Wood, who was murdered by a man who had served prison sentences before his relationship with her. His offences included holding a woman at knifepoint, harassment, and failure to comply with a restraining order. Clare’s family said that she would never have entered a relationship with him had she been aware of his violent past.

The law, fought for by Clare’s dad, has two ways in which police can disclose information about individuals with a history of abusive or violent behaviour: ‘right to ask’ and ‘right to know.’

  • Right to ask – an individual can apply for disclosure
  • Right to know – the police can make a proactive disclosure to a potential victim

At AGR Law, we’re passionate about protecting children who are affected by issues such as divorce, separation, childcare arrangements, or domestic abuse. The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 recognises children who live in a home where abuse takes place as victims, not witnesses. This means if a child sees, hears or experiences the effects of domestic abuse, and is related to or has a parental relationship with the victim or the perpetrator, they will receive protection and support.

The most recent updates to the Act came into force earlier this year.

It now has a new Section 70 that makes non-fatal strangulation a specific offence in its own right. It includes a perpetrator affecting a victim’s ability to breathe to control or intimidate them.

Previously, abusers avoided punishment if their act left no visible injury, making it difficult to prosecute under existing offences. Studies have shown that victims are seven times more likely to be murdered by their partner if they have suffered non-fatal strangulation previously, so this is a welcome inclusion. Those found guilty can face up to five years in prison.

Another significant change prohibits cross-examination during live trials in civil and family courts. Instead, victims can pre-record their evidence before their case gets to trial, meaning that the video can be played in court and the victim will not have to relive the trauma they suffered. Videos can be recorded shortly after the offence, so will likely contain details which may be accidentally omitted under the pressure of giving evidence in person.

We’re hopeful that the government will continue to seek to improve the lives of those affected by domestic abuse by implementing new laws to protect victims and their families, and help them build a safe, empowered life, free from fear.

If you’d like to speak in confidence to a member of our team about domestic abuse, please contact hello@agrlaw.co.uk or call 0116 340 0094. Remember, if you or someone you know is in immediate danger, you must contact the police on 999.

No-fault divorce – why the right to contest divorce has been replaced

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

After years of campaigning, divorce law changed in April and couples can now separate or dissolve a civil partnership without having to apportion blame. One of the other big changes in the ‘no-fault divorce’ reforms is that divorces can no longer be contested.

Before no-fault divorce

Before no-fault divorce became law, one of the couple filed for divorce citing a period of separation or their partner’s behaviour as the reason.

Their partner could contest it if they wanted to remain legally married. There could have been several reasons for this, such as believing the marriage could be saved with help from a counsellor or they may have been unable to move on and couldn’t accept that their partner wished to either. They could also have objected to the grounds of the divorce. For example, if they were accused of adultery or unreasonable behaviour, they could deny it.

These cases would have gone to court where a judge would have heard evidence from the couple and their witnesses and decide who is telling the truth.

Contesting a divorce was rare but, when it occurred, it made the process longer and far more pressured for everyone involved. One well-known contested divorce case was Owens vs Owens which began in May 2015.

Mrs Owens petitioned for divorce, citing Mr Owens’ unreasonable behaviour had led to the marriage breaking down irretrievably. Mr Owens contested this. In court, the judge decided that the example allegations given by Mrs Owens were ‘flimsy’ and the context and seriousness of them had been ‘exaggerated’ so the petition was dismissed.

Mrs Owens appealed, but The Court of Appeal was satisfied that the judge had correctly applied the law so the case was dismissed. In 2018, Mrs Owens appealed the decision again and the case was heard by the Supreme Court. Once again, Mrs Owens was unsuccessful in persuading the court that Mr Owens’ behaviour was unreasonable enough under the law as it stood at the time.

What about now?

With no-fault divorce now law, the right to contest a divorce has been removed. Instead, after a petition has been filed, a minimum 20-week period of reflection has been introduced to give the couple time to work through their differences and ensure that divorce is the right way forward.

This has also alleviated concerns that the new laws will lead to ‘quickie’ divorces and couples ending marriages without proper consideration.

What if one of the parties doesn’t want to divorce?

Often a couple will jointly decide that the marriage has broken down but, with the new laws, an individual can still make a divorce application without the other party agreeing.

We predict that there will be very few cases where one of the couple wishes to remain married when the other one doesn’t. When the laws were passed, the view was that both parties should consent to marriage and it’s unfair to trap someone in a relationship they want to leave, like Mrs Owens. The new laws will also prevent anyone defending a divorce as a tactic to continue abusing their spouse.

With the process also now more amicable and streamlined, we believe that very few divorcing couples (if any) will be disadvantaged by the new laws.

Call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk if you need advice.

No-fault divorce – financial settlements explained

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

Divorce rules changed significantly from April 2022, when the long-awaited no-fault divorce became law. We talked about this in a previous blog, so look there for more details.

As part of any divorce process, decisions need to be made about how to separate finances once the marriage is dissolved. As well as maintenance payments to help pay for children or living expenses, couples need to consider:

  • Debts, loans and credit cards
  • Savings and investments
  • Any pensions or life insurance they have in place for the future
  • Property and contents
  • Businesses
  • Vehicles

The agreement is called a ‘financial settlement’. It is made legally binding when the court approves a consent order drawn up by a solicitor.

How long does a financial settlement take?

How long it takes to decide on a settlement typically depends on how good or bad the relationship is between the divorcing couple and how complicated their finances are.

If a solution can’t be decided upon through mutual agreement or with mediation from a solicitor, a judge may need to decide how your financial affairs are split through a financial order. The court will look at several aspects, including earning capacity and how long the couple has been married, but children’s needs are always prioritised. For example, accommodation must be provided for children and therefore for their main carer too.

Going through the courts will be more costly, take longer and increase stress significantly so we advise that couples avoid this if possible. The exception is if the relationship was abusive when communication between the couple is not feasible and Legal Aid may be available to help cover the costs of legal proceedings.

What might you be entitled to?

There is a presumption that the assets will be shared 50/50 and the breadwinner and homemaker are treated equally. It is up to the party who feels they should be entitled to more than 50% to consider if any of the factors laid within the law apply to their specific situation. Other factors such as pre-nuptial agreements and the needs of the children can influence division of assets.

Where do you start?

We advise couples to begin planning their day-to-day finances by considering the following:

  • Joint accounts, loans and credit cards. You may need to contact your bank to let them know you’re divorcing and open separate accounts for wages and salaries. Consider freezing cards to prevent any dishonest behaviour
  • Assess your circumstances by considering what you have, how much you owe, what you earn, how much you pay out each month and then look at how everything could be split
  • Try to discuss and factor in what is going to happen next. For example, is the family home going to be sold for two smaller houses or can one of you afford the family home on your own?

Why do I need a legally binding financial settlement?

Financial insecurity can be one of the most worrying aspects when going through a divorce.

The courts will always aim for the divorcing couple to be financially separated. This is called a ‘clean break’ and means there will be no ongoing financial disputes between parties. If a clean break cannot be achieved on divorce, the court can order maintenance to be paid for a fixed period with a view to arranging a clean break in the future.

In England and Wales any unresolved financial issues, even once the marriage is legally dissolved, mean either of the party can make a claim against the other’s wealth or future earnings. Claims can be made at any time and are only considered compromised after three years have passed since the finalisation of the divorce. This is one of the reasons why we always try to ensure money matters are settled fully as part of the divorce process wherever possible.

How can AGR Law help?

Our professional team work with you to negotiate a secure financial agreement, guiding you and identifying any loopholes along the way. We believe mediation is key to finding an amicable solution and keeping costs down, but we also have the knowledge and expertise to strongly defend your case if it needs to go to court.

Call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk to find out more.

Putting your children first when separating

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

Parenting can be challenging, especially when there is uncertainty in the home due to an impending separation and likely divorce.

This year, National Children’s Day falls on Sunday 15 May. The aim of the day is to promote a healthy childhood and the need to protect the rights and freedoms of children and young people. To support this important campaign, we wanted to give you some advice on how to help your children deal with separation. We also explain how the new no-fault divorce law (explained in our blog HERE) will benefit families.

You and your spouse have decided that the relationship has broken down irretrievably. What now?

Every child handles separation differently. Their behaviours may depend on their age and whether learning that you’re splitting up will come as a shock or if they were aware that your relationship with your spouse is unhappy.

We advise that both of you speak to all your children at the same time initially, keeping in mind that conversations need to be age-appropriate.

Plan your first conversation carefully to deliver a consistent message and be mindful of your body language, as children can quickly pick up on any negativity. They may also mirror your behaviour, so try to stay calm.

There is nothing worse than seeing your child distressed but creating an environment where they can show their emotions is positive. Reassure them that feeling sad, angry or upset is normal and perfectly OK.

Here are some pointers if you’re not sure what to say:

  • Tell them that you both still love them very much, but your feelings for each other have changed
  • Acknowledge that the situation is challenging for them too
  • Explain that they are in no way at fault
  • Make them aware that circumstances will change, but you will still be a family and both of you will play significant parts in their lives
  • Promise that things will get easier in time

Naturally you will worry about your children, but one way to alleviate that is to take time to allow them to share their feelings and listen to them without interrupting. That way, you can act accordingly rather than trying to guess what is going on. This will also make children feel like they matter more and emphasise that you’re still emotionally available to them.

Adjusting to co-parenting

Once separated, your role will evolve. Everyone will have to adjust to new routines and living arrangements, with parental, social and financial changes.

Communicating clearly and regularly with your ex-partner is key to ensuring each knows their responsibilities and establishing a routine that will help children settle as quickly as possible.

It may be wise at this stage to seek help from a mediator who will help you consider aspects you may not have thought about. They will also facilitate constructive conversations to help you plan the practical elements of co-parenting. This may include helping you agree to specific rules at both homes and planning special days, such as birthdays and Christmas. You can find out more about mediation HERE.

Make sure you tell schools, nurseries and clubs what is happening at home so they can look out for, and deal with, any changes in mood or behaviour.

Making decisions for and with your children

One of the toughest aspects of parenting through a divorce is knowing how and when to involve your children when planning their future.

Although it’s essential to allow them to voice their feelings and concerns, some decisions can only be made by adults. You need to be careful not to overburden your children with responsibility.

We’ve outlined some of the key decisions you need to make to help you consider where to set boundaries.

Decisions you could make with your children:

  • New leisure activities/hobbies to keep their mind off the separation
  • Picking out new clothes if part of your fresh start involves a more grown-up or trendy look
  • How they would like their bedroom or personal space decorated and furnished if they are to be spending time in a new house as well as the family home
  • Getting a new pet to give them something to focus on and nurture
  • A holiday location so you can all relax and have a good time

Decisions you could make on behalf of your children:

  • Living arrangements
  • Which school they attend
  • How time will be divided between parents
  • Where they will spend Christmas, birthdays and other special days. Giving them the option of choosing for themselves is like asking them to pick their favourite parent, so you should avoid that
  • Any potentially contentious or highly emotive decisions where you need to protect your child’s emotional wellbeing

Decisions you can discuss together, depending on the age of the child and your parenting style:

  • House rules such as how much screen time they’re allowed and what time they go to bed
  • Frequency of treats and unhealthy snacks
  • Rewards for doing housework

How no-fault divorce is better for children too

Children cope much better with parents separating if the agreement is amicable.

Under the new divorce laws, couples don’t need to assign blame to either party whereas previously a reason for divorce would have been cited, even if the spouses were on good terms.

This caused unnecessary bitterness from the start of the process and the negative impact on children was huge. We’re relieved that divorce law has now been reformed to better reflect why modern marriages fail.

It’s important to look after yourself

Separating is a complex and difficult time, so relieve pressure on yourself by accepting that it may take a while for things to settle down. Think of it as a journey on a long, new path rather than a single event.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it as the more supported you feel, the more you will be able to support your children. We can help with the legal aspects and guide you on your rights. Also, seeing a therapist or coach may help you feel more positive and better able to control your emotions.

Contact us

To request a consultation, please complete the form on our home page. Alternatively, you can get in touch by calling us on 0116 340 0094 or emailing hello@agrlaw.co.uk.

No-fault divorce – the game changer for couples seeking a fresh start

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

Back in March 2021, our blog ‘No-fault divorce – untying the knot without playing the blame game’ talked about the long-awaited reforms being made to English and Welsh divorce law.

We explained how the campaign to modernise divorce and separation proceedings through the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Bill had run for several years. Championed by Resolution, the community of family justice professionals of which AGR Law is a member, Royal assent was granted in June 2020 and the new law will come into force on 06 April 2022. It’s the biggest reform of divorce law in almost 50 years.

The main changes were:

Prior to no-fault divorce Now
A reason for divorce would have been cited, blame apportioned (and in some cases evidence required) even if the spouses are on amicable terms Couples can now legally separate without assigning blame to either party for their relationship breaking down. Evidence is no longer required. Domestic abuse victims will no longer have to produce statements and revisit the trauma they suffered
Apportioning blame often created unnecessary bitterness and resentment from the very beginning of the divorce process 

 

 The process will now be less damaging to divorcing couples and their families as confrontation will be minimised and talks more constructive. This will allow them to focus on more important areas, such as children and finances
One spouse needs to issue divorce proceedings against the other Couples now have the option of making a joint divorce application
One or more of the following five reasons (also known as ‘facts’) had to be given as proof that the marriage has broken down: adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion or separated for two (if both agree to divorce) or five years (if one disagrees) Divorce will now be more reflective of why modern marriages fail. Going forward, couples only need to produce a statement saying that the marriage has broken down irretrievably
The language used was outdated and unclear Terms will be simpler: 

  • The ‘petitioner’ will be called the ‘applicant’
  • The ‘decree nisi’ will be called a ‘conditional order’
  • The ‘decree absolute’ will be called a ‘final order’
Divorces typically take three to four months minimum if they are straight forward and both parties agree to terms. Delays, errors, contesting and overburdened courts often meant divorcing took much longer 

 

 A period of reflection has been introduced to allow couples more time to consider their decision. It will begin on the date of application and last a minimum of 20 weeks when the conditional order can be made. There will then be at least six weeks between the conditional order and final order
One party begins proceedings and their spouse can contest the reasons The concept of contesting a divorce has been removed

What is the new no-fault divorce process?

Broadly speaking:

  • One or both parties apply, citing that the marriage has broken down irretrievably
  • After a 20-week period of reflection, the applicant or couple decide whether they wish to proceed
  • The court makes a Conditional Order
  • After a further six weeks the court can make a Final Order

Although the process may take around 26 weeks, it’s likely to be longer to allow for negotiations, processing and administration.

Can anyone get a no-fault divorce?

Married couples (including same sex married couples) and civil partners will be able to apply for a no-fault divorce to end their marriage or dissolution to conclude their civil partnership.

The new Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 will amend the existing legislation around separation in the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 and the Civil Partnership Act 2004.

Do I still need a divorce solicitor?

With divorcing being more amicable and less complicated, and more of the process done online (read more about that HERE), we wanted to outline our role in divorce cases and explain why it’s still crucial to have legal representation to guide you.

As lawyers representing you in a divorce case we can, through mediation:

  • Prepare documents for court
  • Advise on financial matters including the family home, pensions, savings and investments
  • Advise you on what you are and are not entitled to and help you negotiate
  • Advise disputing parents on childcare, contact and maintenance payments

If an agreement cannot be reached through mediation, we will:

  • Instigate court proceedings and represent you
  • Prepare cases for presentation to the judge
  • Communicate with your spouse via their solicitor if conversation is not possible between you

Why is legal representation important?

Getting divorced is a highly emotional time, even if you and your spouse agree it’s the right course of action and your relationship is amicable. There is a great deal to consider, and your state of mind and any pressure from friends and family can cloud judgement. This may make it difficult for you to manage constructive conversations and deal with the practicalities, such as contact with children and paying the bills.

A divorce is legally binding. Once terms are agreed upon and you’re separated in the eyes of the law they cannot be altered, so it’s imperative to get paperwork in order and make sure every detail is considered. There are also legal consequences to changing your marital status. For example, your tax and pension may be affected.

Our experienced team deals with divorce cases every day, so will be able to support you and offer the best possible legal advice. We also understand that going through a divorce can be an exhausting and uncertain time, especially if understanding the new laws add to the feeling of overwhelm.

Contact us

To find out more about no-fault divorce, email hello@agrlaw.co.uk or call us on 0116 340 0094

Say ‘no more’ to domestic violence and sexual assault

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

Sunday 06 to Saturday 12 March 2022 is No More Week. Held annually, the aim is to inspire individuals, organisations and communities to raise awareness of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Although domestic violence is a significant and ever-increasing issue, one of the most difficult aspects is that it is so well hidden. Recognising the signs may be difficult and knowing what to say to someone you suspect may be a victim is challenging.

We want to support individuals to make change by helping them identify the signs and giving advice on how best to talk to someone that you suspect may be being abused.

Signs of domestic violence

Every case we see is different, but we’ve outlined some of the more common signs that a person is being abused below.

Physical indications

Look out for injuries covered up with clothing, heavy makeup or sunglasses. A victim may also be reluctant to hug if their arms or ribs hurt and will likely have a weak reason how they came to be injured when questioned.

Injuries may include:

  • Bruises
  • Sprained or bandaged wrists
  • Marks on the neck
  • Split lips
  • Signs of self-harm or attempted suicide

Behavioural red flags

  • Being constantly on edge and/or jumpy
  • Becoming reserved, especially when talking about the abuser
  • Complaining about lack of sleep or looking tired
  • Drinking or using drugs excessively (as a coping mechanism)
  • Losing confidence due to low self-esteem. Talking about feeling worthless or useless
  • Becoming disinterested in seeing friends and family
  • Cancelling plans at the last minute with a feeble or unlikely excuse
  • Needing to ask permission to socialise or go out
  • Receiving constant calls or texts from their partner asking where they are or who they’re with
  • Having very little money available to them and possibly having access to transport removed too

Striking up a conversation

No matter how well your intentions and how close you are to the victim, knowing what to say to encourage them to seek help can be difficult.

Try to find the right space and time. Talking 1-1 in a private setting is better than approaching them in a group. A night out is also not the right time as the victim may be trying to relax and escape the reality of home for a while, so will not want to talk about it.

Keep the conversation positive Even if they feel down and are quiet, tell them how much you value their friendship and what fun they are to be around. Remember that their confidence is likely to be low, so boost their spirits by complimenting them.

Calmly voice your concerns and let them open up if they wish. Don’t force them to divulge details or ask too many questions otherwise they may question your intentions. Reassure them that you are there to listen and support them. This is their safe space to use how they wish.

Try to gently make them understand that they are not to blame for their situation. Victims often blame themselves because the perpetrator has persuaded them that this is the case. They are likely to make excuses for their abuser and try to justify their behaviour. They may also feel that what they’re experiencing is part and parcel of being in a normal relationship. Most couples have problems at some stage, but an abusive relationship will see one of the couple controlling, intimidating and physically and emotionally harming the other.

Be careful not to be too heavy-handed because they may shut down and helping them will become impossible. Instead, steer the conversation towards how the abuse is making them feel so that it’s fully focussed on them. This will make them think about the perpetrator’s behaviour and they may draw their own conclusions on what is right and wrong.  Saying that you’d feel the same way helps acknowledge how they’re feeling.

You may be tempted to say ‘just leave’ but, although it’s hard to understand why they would show loyalty to their abuser, they are likely to be under their control and such demands only mimic that dominant behaviour. It may also be that they have no financial independence or that they don’t want to break up their family. They may also feel so helpless they imagine there is no escape.

Help them create an exit plan so that they are ready to leave when they have the opportunity. The plan may include identifying a safe place to go and having a bag packed ready. Advise them to take their keys, passport and copies of any bills in their name or joint names. They should also change any passwords or codes for devices and online accounts that they wouldn’t want their abuser to access. Setting up two-factor authentication will also offer further security. It is advisable for them to get their post redirected. Encourage them to keep notes or diarise when events have happened if they can.

Try to avoid saying he/she seemed nice or that they seemed the perfect couple. Abusers rarely, if ever, show their true colours in front of other people. They can often be popular and well-liked in company or out in public but change when they’re behind closed doors.  The fact that the perpetrator can fool everybody may cause further embarrassment.

Offer solutions without being pushy. Options could include:

  • Talking to the police if they are in immediate danger
  • Contacting a charity or helpline for confidential advice (see below for useful phone numbers and email addresses)

Assure them that they’re not alone and thank them for talking to you as it allows you the opportunity to help them.

Where to get help

Below are some phone numbers and email addresses where anyone can talk in confidence to specially trained people.

For women:

  • Phone – the Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. It’s run by Refuge and open day and night
  • Email – helpline@womensaid.org.uk

For men:

  • Phone – Men’s Advice Line is on 0808 8010 327. The line is open Monday and Wednesday 9am to 8pm and Tuesday, Thursday and Friday 9am to 5pm
  • Phone – ManKind is on 0182 3334 244. The line is open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm
  • Email – info@mensadviceline.org.uk

LGBT+:

  • Phone – Galop’s Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0800 999 5428. The line is open Monday and Friday 10am to 5pm and Wednesday and Thursday 10am to 8pm
  • Email – help@galop.org.uk

Forced marriage and honour crime:

  • Phone – Karma Nirvana is on 0800 5999 247. The line is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm

Other places you can ask for help include pharmacies, a GP, midwife or health visitor. If you email for help, please confirm the best time for someone to email you back when you are typically safe to read their reply and respond to it.

Contacting us

If you need legal advice on any type of abuse, call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk.

Breaking the silence around sexual abuse and sexual violence

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

To mark Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness Week, and the call for the silence surrounding abuse to be broken, we wanted to shine a light on what is and isn’t unacceptable in the eyes of the law.

What are sexual abuse and sexual violence?

Sexual abuse and sexual violence occur when someone behaves in a sexual nature without the other party or parties giving consent. It can be physical, psychological, verbal, written in messages or via the internet.

  • Sexual abuse usually refers to any person under the age of 18 being forced or incited into a sexual activity
  • Sexual violence is when sexual behaviour or a sexual act is forced on a person without their consent

The perpetrator often uses tactics to pressure, trick or manipulate their victim into the act. Men, women and children can fall victim to sexual abuse or sexual violence regardless of age, sexual orientation or race.

Recognising behaviour that is abusive

Sexual violence is an umbrella term for:

  • Rape – unwanted or forced sex that happens without consent
  • Sexual assault – when someone touches a person in a sexual manner or makes them take part in a sexual activity without their consent
  • Sexual harassment – unwanted sexual behaviour that makes (or is intended to make) someone feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated
  • Stalking – persistent and unwanted obsessive attention that makes someone feel pestered, anxious, scared or harassed. Examples include someone following you or regularly sending you unwanted gifts
  • Indecent exposure/flashing – someone deliberately exposing his or her genitals to scare or upset another person
  • Child sexual abuse – when an adult or older child coerces a child into a sexual situation
  • Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) – intentionally altering or causing injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons
  • Spiking – putting alcohol or drugs into someone’s drink or body without them knowing

Acts don’t have to be physical to be abusive. Examples include:

  • Sending obscene messages
  • Encouraging inappropriate conversations (including online)
  • Sharing pornographic materials

The abuser can be a stranger or, as is often the case, someone you know or even a family member. They may be a spouse, partner, fiancé, boyfriend or girlfriend. Your relationship status doesn’t give them automatic rights to abuse you.

What is consent?

If you are involved in a sexual activity, agreed to take part by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make your own decisions, that is deemed as consent. You should also be able to change your mind at any point and withdraw consent without being accused of playing hard to get or sending mixed signals. You can refuse consent even if you have given it previously.

Sometimes age, disabilities or conditions can leave you unable to give consent.  You may also be asleep, unconscious or affected by drink or drugs. It is not acceptable to assume you give consent because you can’t say no.

You are NOT to blame

Sexual abuse and sexual violence are ALWAYS the fault of the abuser.

We know from previous experience that the perpetrator typically persuades the victim that people won’t believe them if they speak out, or that the situation is their fault. They also make them worry it will bring shame on them and their family.

Remember:

  • If you consume alcohol, take drugs, wear revealing clothing or behave in a flirtatious manner that does not mean it is acceptable for someone to abuse you. People with the legal right to drink also have the legal right not to be forced into doing anything they do not wish to
  • If you are unable to fight your attacker off that doesn’t mean you have consented. Some people can scream or shout out and run away, but a common reaction is to become so crippled with fear that you freeze and are unable to move
  • Just because you are married to, or in a relationship with, a person it does not mean they can abuse you

It is common for abusers to promise they will change, buy you presents and behave kindly for a few days (or sometimes weeks) but they soon go back to their old ways and the cycle begins again.

Other types of abuse

When people think about abuse, they tend to picture physical violence. Being violent and causing physical harm certainly is abuse, but there are other behaviours that we wanted to touch on briefly to make you aware:

  • Coercive control – assaulting, threatening, humiliating or intimidating a person to harm, punish or frighten them. Examples include isolating you from friends and family, monitoring your time and online activity, and denying your basic needs such as food or access to healthcare
  • Psychological or emotional abuse – this can include someone threatening or intimidating you, calling you names and criticising you, dismissing your opinion on matters or undermining you, making you feel guilty, sulking or giving you silent treatment, or telling you what you can and can’t do
  • Financial abuse – limiting your financial freedom of choice and denying you money for basic essentials, controlling your bank accounts so that you have no independent income or running up debts in your name e.g., using your credit card without permission are all common examples of financial abuse
  • Online or digital abuse – there are several ways a perpetrator can abuse victims online. Acts include monitoring your social media profiles or emails without permission, sharing intimate images or videos without your consent, or using GPS locators or spyware

Where to get help

Abuse of any kind is a serious crime. You don’t have to wait until you’re in an emergency situation to ask for help but, if you or your family are in immediate danger, you must call 999.

We know it’s not always easy to seek advice if you’re being monitored closely by your abuser. We also know it takes enormous courage and that your confidence will typically be low.

Below is a list of places support is available from:

For women:

  • Phone – the Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. It’s run by Refuge and open day and night
  • Email – helpline@womensaid.org.uk

For men:

  • Phone – Men’s Advice Line is on 0808 8010 327. The line is open Monday and Wednesday 9am to 8pm and Tuesday, Thursday and Friday 9am to 5pm
  • Phone – ManKind is on 0182 3334 244. The line is open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm
  • Email – info@mensadviceline.org.uk

LGBT+:

  • Phone – Galop’s Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0800 999 5428. The line is open Monday and Friday 10am to 5pm and Wednesday and Thursday 10am to 8pm
  • Email – help@galop.org.uk

Forced marriage and honour crime:

  • Phone – Karma Nirvana is on 0800 5999 247. The line is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm

Other places you can ask for help include pharmacies, a GP, midwife or health visitor. If you email for help, please confirm the best time for someone to email you back when you are typically safe to read their reply and respond to it.

Contact us if you need help

If you need legal advice on any type of abuse, call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk. You’re not alone and anyone can talk to us in complete confidence.

Mediation: your route to an amicable divorce

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

We’ve previously mentioned that our approach to family law is to use mediation when couples are separating, but as it’s Family Mediation Week we wanted to explain what mediation is and how it works in more detail.

What is mediation?

Mediation is a process used to help divorcing couples plan their separation constructively. It can also be used to alter arrangements as circumstances change, for example as children grow older.

The role of a mediator is to help you find workable, practical solutions that suit all parties. They won’t tell you what you should and shouldn’t do, nor will they impose solutions or take sides. Instead, they act as a neutral third party, keeping the conversation moving forward, guiding you both and assisting with negotiation until terms can be agreed upon.

Why use mediation?

When you use a mediator, arrangements are tailored for your individual situations. Both parties have their say in a non-confrontational, constructive way. Discussions are free of blame, focussing on the future and preserving your relationship through clear communication, but not attempting to bring about a reconciliation.

Mediation also addresses the emotional needs and uncertainty that can surround the breakdown of a relationship. It can provide a safe and supportive space for you to talk with your ex-partner, but there is no pressure for you to face them if you would prefer not to at any stage.

How is mediation better than going through the divorce courts?

The process is much quicker, more amicable and usually less costly than going through a lengthy and stressful court battle. It puts you in control of your future, as opposed to a judge making decisions for you. Divorcing out of court also protects your privacy and ensures complete confidentiality.

If court is the only option for your case, you will need to prove that mediation has been properly considered and deemed unsuitable. Exemptions include domestic abuse cases.

What does mediation involve?

The process begins with a meeting known as a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (or MIAM) where you discuss what mediation is, how it might help you and the costs involved. After this initial stage, talks will assist you to determine what needs to be agreed upon and a suitable timeframe in which mutually beneficial decisions are to be made. Your mediator can then help you consider all available options. Areas often negotiated by mediation include:

  • Childcare arrangements and co-parenting
  • Finances including pensions
  • Property and housing arrangements
  • Dividing up assets
  • Jointly owned or managed businesses

 Can I get Legal Aid for mediation?

You may be able to receive Legal Aid if:

  • The dispute involves a child. You may be eligible for a free voucher worth up to £500
  • You are on a low income. Legal Aid may help pay for both parties to attend an introductory meeting (MIAM), one mediation session for both of you, further mediation sessions for the eligible person and help from a solicitor to make your agreement legally binding

How can I find out more?

Give us a call on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk to discuss your situation and the best way forward.

Divorcing in the digital age

Author By AGR LAWPosted on

The COVID-19 pandemic has prompted individuals and businesses to accelerate their use of digital technologies, and the legal services sector is no exception.

The online divorce process forms a significant part of a £1 billion-plus programme to transform the court system to improve speed, accessibility and ease for all.

Digital divorce – the backstory

In 2017, the government announced they were testing an online divorce application. It could be used by anyone wishing to divorce, and it offered prompts and guidance as they filled out their application. Upon completion, they would need to print it out and send it to the court.

In January 2018, the process was fully digitalised, with forms being submitted online, along with supporting documentation and payment. Around 130 applications were received in the first week.

Feedback was largely positive and, notably, the number of applications being returned due to errors was reduced by over 90%. In addition, people liked the simple, streamlined process and they didn’t have to worry that essential information would become delayed or lost in the post.

The pilot scheme was deemed a success and the refined version was unveiled in May 2018. The next stage was to roll the system out to legal representatives.

Speaking at the time Nigel Shepherd, the former Chair of Resolution, welcomed the move to a fully digital system to bring it into line with other government services, provided it functioned well for all involved.

It’s important to note that although the system was originally developed for those without legal representation to use, we must stress the need to instruct a solicitor to act on your behalf. The portal can be used to end a marriage formally, but it cannot advise on and clarify matters such as finances and access to children. It also cannot help with the emotional journey divorcing couples inevitably find themselves on. Remember, your rights as a married person are lost as soon as your divorce is finalised, so all aspects need careful consideration with support from a professional.

Digital divorce – where are we now?

In September 2021, the system was mandated by HM Courts and Tribunals Service (HMCTS). This means that legal professionals must submit divorce applications online via the MyHMCTS portal rather than use a paper D8 form. The only exceptions are the dissolution of civil partnerships, judicial separation and nullity.

There are several advantages of the new portal:

  • It is much quicker for courts to process applications as the lengthy administration burden has been removed
  • Applications and supporting evidence can be accessed remotely
  • There are fewer mistakes and delays. The portal does not allow you to submit applications with incorrect or missing information, so applications are rejected less often
  • The negative impact on the environment is reduced as the process is now paperless
  • Solicitors can send information to judges at the click of a button

Digital divorce – what’s next?

From April 2022, divorce will become less confrontational and more constructive when the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 comes into force. Couples will no longer need to assign fault to one party, so neither will be blamed for the relationship ending. Language will also be simplified, for example a ‘decree absolute’ will be called a ‘final order’. The portal will be updated to reflect the changes.

Hearings will continue to be held virtually or over the phone, so lessening the need to travel to court and be in the vicinity of the person you are divorcing.

How can AGR Law help?

We are experts in all matters of family law, including divorce and financial settlements. As members of Resolution, we are committed to resolving issues in a non-confrontational way through mediation, resulting in a better outcome for divorcing couples and their families.

For more information, please call us on 0116 340 0094 or email hello@agrlaw.co.uk

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